Miss my mom month

It's only December 1st and I've already decided it's miss my mom month. The backlash from being busy over Thanksgiving and not having time to miss her and the giant piles of laundry and exhaustion have caught up to me. I'm tired and sad, and my chronic migraines aren't helping. In the past year I've only spent a handful of nights away from my kids, when my mom was in the hospital, when she passed, and when I visited my dad in rehab. I need a night of peace so badly I find myself feeling bitter and angry for no reason. This is exactly the time when I would call my mom up and ask her to come visit and just help me for a few days. She would make me laugh and make me feel better, give me a much needed break. But that isn't an option anymore, and there is no one else that can do that. It's lonely. She isn't here to see how big the kids have gotten and they would love her so much. I have no right to complain about my life it's just impossible to appreciate it when I can't get a second to reflect on it. All I do all day is run everywhere, not walk. I would do anything to have one day off, one day to recharge, one day to come home and remember why Abi and Ben are sooooo darn adorable. My mom's birthday is this month, she would have been 60. And then of course my first Christmas without my mom. This is going to be a rough month running on an empty tank.