Cougar football Thursday

The air is getting cooler, school starts soon, must be Cougar football time. I took an inventory of my Coug shirts and was disappointed so I did some altering (no sewing involved). The shirt on the far left was a regular t-shirt that had a really tight neck hole, it looked like it was strangling me so I made it a v-neck. Actually turned out cute, a little off the shoulders 80's -ish. The middle shirt was a t-shirt and I kind of wanted a tank for the first game we are going to in Pullman so I cut the sleeves and neck hole used a scrap to tie a knot in the back. On me it looks a little halter top-ish. The shirt on the right had really long sleeves that went down to my elbows and just looked weird so I cut the sleeves into cap sleeves, much cuter and more flattering. Now I'm ready for Cougar football! 

Cougar cutie

Our gnome gets around

Many more gnome adventures to follow.



Abigail and Benjamin

 

 Sillies

Heron park

 

 

Silver Lake park

Abi

We had our preschool picnic yesterday and Abi had a blast, thank goodness! She talked to the teacher and played with friends. Still hoping this will be a good year. Abi had her 4 year old check up yesterday too. She is still in the 95% percentile for height and weight, why are our kids so giant? Especially since we eat home cooked meals every night and are active. Brad took her because my mental state couldn't handle a lecture about the possibility of obesity when she grows up, but Brad said the doctor wasn't concerned because her growth chart has been so consistent (not going up). Sigh, at least that's one less thing to worry for now. And she did great getting shots, no tears. I'm still trying to get a cute four year old picture of her but she is not very cooperative, hopefully I'll get one soon.

(Hope you like the new blog template, I'm been wanting to change it forever, but just finally got around to it.)

Lately I don't have time for anything, or maybe I mean everything. The day is over and it is dark out, it's 10pm, but I still wanted to work in the yard and take Maggie for a run, darn it. Oh well, my bed sounds much better anyway, maybe tomorrow I'll have time. My lack of energy and slow moving these days doesn't help. But it's impossible to rush when you are carrying so much emotional baggage (it's so much heavier than you think). I just want to sleep and eat, which lets me know I'm not normal, I would usually describe myself more as a hummingbird on crack. With my lack of motivation lately all I can think about is there is no way I can have it all, there is not enough time and I'm too tired anyway. Working out, going to the park, fun kid time, cleaning the house, ect. there is not enough time for everything and the chub on my mid section isn't going to go away on it's own! I'm trying to be nice to myself, it's a hard time, I'm sad, and being mean to myself won't help. So chub on the midsection, since we'll be stuck together for a while, we might as well be friends and maybe it's OK not to 'have it all' as long as I can have my own little slice of happiness pie.

This is of course is more Momastery by Glennon, I just love her.
"1. You do not have to change in order to love yourself. You have to love yourself in order to change. That means embracing yourself completely, right now at this moment -as a bitter, scared, disorganized faithless mess. This is called radical self-love and we will be practicing it here. After you have learned to love yourself completely, just as you are- good change comes. Only then. Loooooove then change, not chaaaange then love. We must stop loving ourselves conditionally. We MUST stop being such jerks to ourselves. We must treat ourselves how we’d like others to treat us.

2. No one can have it all and people should just stop saying that already. I just listened to a woman give a speech the other day about how you CAN have it all. You can be a GREAT MOM and a SUCCESSFUL BUSINESSWOMAN and a SEXPOT with your husband and a SOCIAL BUTTERFLY and THERE! You have it all! (Apparently, those four things are It All) IIIIIIII have it all, she said. Look at me! If I can do it, so can you! I watched her dispassionately, eating my gigantic bowl of popcorn. I’m sure she meant well, but I kept thinking: you don’t have it all, lady. For example: you’re not a fisherman. Fishermen get up before sunrise and pull on their plastic gear and head out onto the bay before anyone in the whole world has woken up. They glide through the water and they sit, and they wait, and they work, and they watch the sun rise over the water and they say good morning to God first. And that is their slice of happiness. Made just for them. Not you, not her, not me.

Each of us has our own slice of happiness, and nobody, but NOBODY, gets the whole happiness pie. After Rebecca Sono won her second gold medal, she said that her strategy was to “keep her mind in her own lane and not worry about what the others are doing.” Brilliant, Rebecca. We just get our own lane and there is enough brutal and beautiful ahead of and behind us. You can’t have her lane and she can’t have yours. Nobody has it all. We each just have our own lane of the big old pool and our own slice of the happiness pie, and that is quite enough. Others will have things and experiences and successes that weren’t meant for us. Vice versa. Good design. I don’t want it all. I’m sufficiently enthralled and exhausted just finishing my own lap in my own lane, thank you very much.

3. Don’t go to a park with your four year old, buy her a gigantic soft serve ice cream cone, and then deposit her directly on the merry go round. Just don’t. Bad news, bears."

It feels so wrong that my mom is gone. It feels wrong to be at her house and not have her there, it feels wrong to not talk to her on the phone, it feels wrong that it is summer and she's not here. It feels wrong to be surrounded by all her things, pillows she sewed, old picture frames she loved, and she is not here. Life just feels all wrong. It's not supposed to be this way, this is not right. I think the universe made a mistake.

-Mom, you were supposed to get old and gray and be a little old lady. You were supposed to dance at Abi's wedding. You are supposed to be here because you're my mom. I cried uncontrolably the other night just like the day you left. I guess time hasn't put any space between me and the pain. Even with a zillion miles of time I don't think the pain will be gone. My stomach is always a little sick, tears are always threatening, life is different.

I wish I could at least say my Dad is doing well, but that's not the case. I usually say he's doing OK, but he's not. Can't say much for now and we'll know more soon.

This is staright from the Momastery blog, by Glennon. Somehow it gives me comfort.
"One more thing: my family is going through some health things right now which I won’t discuss in any more depth than to say that it sucks a bit. A lot. Life can be so hard. We are waiting for some test results right now and I fell asleep last night thinking about how I am totally sure it will be bad news. And then I woke up considering what a fraud I am, writing about faith when it is so clear to me that I have, like, none. When anything’s about to hit the fan, I’m always pretty sure it’s gonna be you know what. I never really believe we can pray bad things away. I don’t have that kind of faith. Bad things happen. God doesn’t protect us from them.

But then I thought that maybe I do have faith, it’s just a different kind of faith. I believe that shit happens. But that with the right eyes, ears, patience, and perspective, that shit can become Holy. I just read this quote from Robert Frost… “In three words I can sum up everything I know about life: it goes on.” I think that’s so beautiful. Makes me think about Anna’s Jack.

Right now, if I had to define life – it would be this: Holy Shit.
It’s all holy. All of it, especially the worst of it. I know this. Just gotta keep reminding myself."

Ha ha

Somehow I think this is fitting for me.

Papa's pool and the fair

Last Wednesday the kids and I went down to my Dad's to hang out in the pool, pick berries, and go to the Skamania county fair. We heart blackberry pie. I made one pie so far, several more to come.  

They look so much alike in this picture.

Searching for Pearl, the cat.

For some reason this picture cracks me up.

Cute miss Evie. Her baby mullet is awesome.

It was blazing hot at the fair (high 90's). We sat and listened to a country band in the shade, they were awesome because they had a giant Cougar flag hanging from the stage. The goats were our favorite animals because there were a couple of mommy goats that just had babies and I never realized it before but baby goats are darn adorable. The cows, bunnies, chickens, and pigs came in a close second. The kids were scared of the horses because they were so big and loud.

The Skamania county fair is one of our favorites because it's free to get in and to park. They only have a few barns of animals (not 20), a few rides, and it is in the Columbia River Gorge right next to the Columbia River.

This creek feeds into the Columbia.

 We got home late Friday night, I worked Saturday day then we went to a wedding (straight from work). No wonder I'm exhausted! Abi made best friends with Katelyn the flower girl. They danced and played for hours.

Carrots from the garden, yum! This girl loves carrots, no joke.

Feels like summer

 Another 100+ degree work/play weekend at the lake. I think we are used to the heat because none of us got overheated or cranky. We worked in the morning until it was too hot then boated all afternoon. We worked all evening until it was too dark and then watched the meteor showers (listening to a live band playing down the street). I have never seen so many meteors in one night, it was pretty cool. Oh yeah, we are starting a new drink trend, cold red wine. Since it's so hot we had to put the red wine in the frig so it wasn't hot and it was actually pretty good that way. It just wouldn't feel like summer if we weren't on the lake on the East side. We are so thankful to have this lake place, in the month and a half that we have been able to call it ours we have already made memories.

We planted 26 trees and shrubs along the path to the water for a privacy screen including an apple tree and willow. Lowes had all of there trees on clearance and we were able to get ten foot tall trees for $6 each. We hauled away yard debris and got a load of compost for the plants.

View

We were told this is the original Bauer's Landing sign, it came with the property. I want to refinish it and hang it up. Random art project calling my name.

Biggest tree we have on the property, Brad thought it was a variety of willow but I don't think so. Not sure what it is?

Lucky Maggie dog got to go boating with us. It was pretty cute she would sit in the very front of the boat with her paws over the edge. When we would stop in the middle of the river to jump in and cool off she would jump right in too.

We drove down to the old lake place (behind tree on left) and the neighbors built a giant house/garage right next to it.

I love that Abi and Ben love boating as much as we do, Abi especially. She says "faster Daddy, faster" and giggles uncontrollably when we go over waves. She always has a smile on her face on the boat. Ben on the other hand always falls asleep on the boat, which is nice because we can boat during nap time. If only he'd sleep as good in the car. It feels good to be able to give our kids experiences like both Brad and I had growing up. Something about the sun, water, and boating makes me happy and makes me think of my mom because she loved those things too. A day with the family on the boat is a day well spent.