Today

The MRI of my mom's brain showed no conclusive evidence of a stroke (which can happen) but because of her symptoms there is no other cause they can come up with so we are still calling it a stroke. They are moving her to the rehabilitation floor of the hospital today for up to 10 days to get her strength, balance, coordination, and of course get her walking again. After that she can go see a ophthalmic neurologist to get her eyes figured out. I have so many mixed emotions about everything that has happened this past week. Sometimes I tell myself everything is going to be fine and my mom will get better, other times I just cry and wonder how the hell are my parents going to survive when my dad can't hear and my mom can't see. She got the surgery done to fix her heart so she could live and enjoy life again but it's been given to her and taken away all at the same time. The doctor said her aneurysm was so bad she probably wouldn't have lived much longer without surgery, so I'm thankful she's alive and sad she may never see her grand babies again. The glass is half empty and half full. I'm so thankful to still have my mom, although she does drive me crazy sometimes but she's my mom and I love her. Last spring I took my mom with me to a children's birthday party over at my friend Sue's house. My mom was being how she is at parties and I was looking down at the ground shaking my head and my friend Sue shrugged her shoulders and said to me "At least you have a mom" which was significant coming from a friend that lost her mom way too soon. I wanted to say "But my mom is kind of crazy" I didn't of course but it did make me think sometimes it's easy to pick out the flaws in people, harder sometimes to see the good, and sometimes the good is covered up weakness. My mom brought me into this world and made the person I am today: anally clean, hard working, caring, appreciative, good driver, red meat lover (the important stuff). She taught me how to love deeply and have compassion. I hope somehow I can give something back to her, even if she doesn't get her sight back, I hope I can make her see that it was worth it to be alive.