Monday

Life isn't always what you think it should be. My son is learning how to walk and so is my mom. My kids look to me for everything, getting dressed, bathed, fed, going potty, and right now my mom needs help with all those things too. Doesn't seem fair. She is getting stronger and relearning her motor skills and how to walk. No improvement on her vision and her heart has a funny rhythm that they are hoping to fix with drugs but may have to do procedure to shock her heart back into rhythm. The bad thing about the procedure is that there is a risk of stroke which is the last thing we need. Everything is so up in the air, how long is she going to be in the hospital rehabilitation unit? How are they going to fix her heart rhythm? Will she fully recover from the stroke? Will her vision improve? How long will it take? What's going to happen when she can go home? So many questions. Today someone said to me, "Oh, she's not as bad as I thought" (referring to my mom) and it left me thinking easy for you to say, how can it be worse? But I need to remember things can always be worse and that I'm grateful for what we DO have and what IS good. Somehow we'll get through this and be stronger for it, although it may not feel that way right now. In the meantime I'm trying to enjoy every moment of Ben's silly grin as he toddles around and babbles and Abi being the funny, opinionated, sweet girl that she is. They are starting to actually play together nicely and it is the gosh darn cutest thing I've ever seen. I can tell they are best friends in the making. I love the way their eyes light up when they are excited about something, like when Abi tells me about preschool or when Ben steals a toy from Abi and runs away laughing. They remind me that life is good, even if it's not what you think it should be.