Grief

It has been two and a half months and I'm not sure why I don't feel any better. I'm still sad when I go to bed at night, sad when I wake up in the morning, I still dream about her, I still cry, I still feel like I'm dragging myself around and everything seems more difficult. Simple everyday things like cooking and cleaning and dealing with grouchy children seem so much harder. I just don't know when I'm ever going to feel better. I appreciated so many things about my mom when she was here but I couldn't fully understand her role in my life until she was gone. I'm 31 and I still need my mom. I need her to tell me it's going to be OK, that my kids will turn out fine, that I shouldn't worry so much. I need her to mindlessly chat with on the phone. I need her to come stay with me and help with the kids so I can get a much needed break. I need her to spoil the kids with love and gifts. I need her in my life to love me.

Abi cracks me up in this picture.